Spoon Man
by SockieMonkey
Summary: Orihime has an odd dream one night about a bomb-making spoon-wearer. (Random!)


This is my first story. It's completely random but I hope you'll like it anyways!

Also, I don't own Bleach

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

_Tick._

The auburn haired girl readjusted the black goggles protecting her eyes before focusing back on the small mass of wires inside the machine in front of her. Grabbing a small screw driver, Orihime pushed aside bunches of red, yellow, and green, trying to find the correct one. _Where is it? _

"Thirty seconds and counting." Her black haired companion informed.

She wiped a bead of sweat that had begun to form over her brow and leaned closer to the device.

"Twenty seconds."

"Where is that wire…?" She whispered to herself. Outside the building, she could here sirens blaring and cops yelling at bystanders to keep behind the yellow police tape.

"Ten seconds."

Tick.

"Nine."

Tick.

"Eight."

_Tick._

"Seven."

_Tick._

"Si-"

Orihime's eye twitched. "Ulquiorra, SHUT UP." Cramming the rest of the wires aside, she finally found what she was looking for. _There it is! _A lone blue wire was sticking out from the rest, which she promptly clipped with a pair of wire cutters. The two let out a relieved sigh when the machine's little screen went blank right as the timer switched to three. "_Whew. _I'm glad that's over. For a second there, I thought we weren't going to make it."

"Woman."

"Hmm?" She looked over at Ulquiorra questioningly. He lifted his pale hand to point at something over her shoulder. Turing around, Orihime saw figure stepping out from the shadows and approach them.

A tall and lanky man wearing an eye patch over his left eye and a hoodie that oddly resembles a spoon grinned down at them, "Looks like ya deactivated my bomb." He reached behind himself as his smile slipped off his face, "That don't make me happy."

It was then the Orihime noticed that he had a strange axe-like weapon strapped to his back. The man charged, violently swinging his axe at them. Ulquiorra reacted quickly, drawing the sword he kept on his hip, and blocking the attack. His smile returning, the man pushed Ulquiorra backwards until his back pressed into a column. Orihime noticed this and sprang forward, landing a solid kick to the back of his head as she screeched, "DIE EVIL CREEPY _SPOON!"_

"WHAT THE _HECK!?" _The man yelled. He sat back on his knees and wiped some blood from his mouth.

As he stood up, she charged again and began repeatedly punching him in the face, squeezing her eyes shut as she continued to scream, "DIE SPOON!"

Ulquiorra walked up behind her and sighed. "Woman," he called, trying to get her attention, "That's enough."

"DIE SPOON!" Still, Orihime continued to punch the tall man's face while he just kind of stood there, letting her, too stunned to really do anything about it.

"Woman."

She completely tuned him out and kept on punching in the poor villain's face.

_"Woman. Wake. Up."_

Orihime's eyes flew open and she swung her fist out wildly, yelling, "_DIE YOU FREAKY SPOON MAN!" _

Her fist connected with Ulquiorra's palm.

Blinking slowly, she refocused on her surroundings. She was still in her room in Huece Mundo, with Ulquiorra standing next to her, watching her with a blank expression. Hearing laughter, she glanced over at the entrance where Grimmjow stood, laughing rather obnoxiously. Leaning on the wall next to him was Nnoitra, who did not look the slightest bit amused and looked more like he was about to strangle the Sexta Espada.

Between laughs, Grimmjow managed to choke out, "Sh-She…_Ha… _Even she th-thinks… _Haha… _you look like a-a _SPOON!"_

Ulquiorra shoved his hands into his pockets and began walking away, monotonously stating over his shoulder, "Come Woman. Aizen-sama has requested that you be present at our meeting... You can continue your dream of attacking the spoon man once it is finished."

This of course caused Nnoitra's frown to deepen and Grimmjow to burst into another round of laughter.

Leave a review and tell me if you liked it or not


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